It’s 35 degrees, my Uber driver smells and I have very deep dark circles under my eyes from getting up at 5:15am for the past three months. I have this new neighbor who moved in above me, she wakes up for her job at 5am, stomping around her apartment in heels. I’m not kidding when I say I can even hear her when she gets in the shower. I finally interacted and went up there after several calls to my doormen (who, btw are blatantly sick of hearing Mrs. Gerber complain). Thinking she would be 300+ pounds I was shocked to see a woman my age and size answer the door. She was absolutely mortified and couldn't have felt worse. I’ve sent her notes, was going to even buy her slippers- we chat, and she promises to get carpeting in her apartment. 80% coverage it's the law I share this news flash with her, as if she didn't know.
The next morning I wake up at 8am. I have never felt more rejuvenated and kvelling over having my daughter, Sophie home from college. She goes to USC, I mean really…. she had to go that far, then again maybe there are better men in LA than there are in New York City.
I was doing so well that even my doorman said “Mrs. Gerber you look so happy this morning,” I told him it was because I finally slept! It was all going so smoothly until an amateur Yogi kicks me in the head falling at an attempted head stand in my daily yoga class, It ruined my zen.
After a day’s worth of hustling around NYC, navigating through the crowds, playing Mrs. Claus as I filled jewelry orders I was stressed. Had to get ready for dinner. My favorite pieces right now are my gold wire hoop earrings with long emerald cut tapered baguettes. Of course I wear my charm necklace with Sophie, Cookie & assorted meaningful charms. I'm layering my look with one or two other necklaces depending on how freezing cold I am if I need the cashmere turleneck sweater or not. I am not a very good cold weather person. My rings are 2-3, I love my twisted snake and diamond link, less is just less and yes I am a yellow gold girl 99% of the time. In my next life I will be a minimalist. For now ~ not.
That evening I have a date with a British guy, Jewish, lives in Westchester, from London~ and he is announcing, he is on a diet! His son is getting married in the beginning of January and he already shares he doesn't want to be in a relationship before the wedding- he doesn't have to worry because I’m unavailable and will be in Florida - maybe I can make son #2’s wedding in the spring. He should be so lucky!
He arrives a few minutes late, I’ve already ordered my Chardonnay, irritated but composed that there’s no hard alcohol. I wanted a martini desperately or some Casamigos! It’s been a hellish week.
He’s not terribly tall, not terribly handsome, not terribly fit but yes, terribly British and very sweet. This is something I adore. For 2 years in my 20’s I pretended to have a British accent when meeting men/boys out. My BFFL Debbie (aka Chicken) laughs HYSTERICALLY when I tell her I met a Brit. The date was actually nice and I had a good time, I couldn't wait to get home to hop in the bath, put on my pj’s and eat leftover Momofuku soft serve all while hearing my daughter complain about how bored she is that her friends aren’t home yet.
So… this evening is my trigger to write this to more than just my (as my daughter would say, “squad”) of my mom, sis and 3 closest friends. It is to share my frustrations with all of you and for you to join in. We all need to help each other in this crazy world. Let’s face it, men are mostly awful and I have realized that the single men suck (that is why they are single duh) and all the good ones are dead or married. I want to believe in love again and get those butterflies. Where the hell are they?! Am I too old for romance? Am I too much ~with the big blonde hair, eyelashes and jewelry? Or is what’s around me too little? Which brings me to little things I don't want to see or think of. Oy.
Well, stay tuned next week, a new adventure and update, from Boca Raton, Florida. I haven’t even packed yet and my mom is already texting me asking what crudité dip I will eat! Like really, I’m trying to lose a few this holiday season not gain weight on bagels, Way Beyond Bagel's egg white salad, that has to be fattening cuz it tastes so damn good.
My parents favorite meal of the day COFFEE AND CAKE! Who the hell needs to be eating cake every night before they go to bed. Thankfully my mom is tiny and weighs at most 110 pounds. Dad is thin too, for this alone they are annoying. I’m blessed to have them even if they can eat without getting fat.
I’ll be sharing with all of you my style tips, the jewels, dating drama, learning from dilemmas and daily nonsense as well as my song of the week. This week my song is "Under Pressure" by David Bowie & Queen. I’m breathing through it and letting go of the toxins but they keep coming back.
Namaste friends and Merry Christmas, Happy Everything.
P.S I told my mom I liked spinach dip.